Let’s consider the the experiences and states of being possible for humans, and how these are affected by meditation and drugs. I spent decades of this life using drugs as a primary way of altering my consciousness. Now yoga is the primary way I alter my conscious experience.
So I have a fair bit of experience with both methods. I also have a sense that this is a widespread human condition: the desire to feel better, to feel different, to feel (the unknown). In the culture I grew up in, this impulse was common, and so were the patterns it led to:.
Every day as a child I experienced anxiety, insomnia, worry, and fear of what the future may bring. Every night I lay awake for hours, unable to sleep with the constant onslaught of negative thoughts and emotions. I saw my parents having similar experiences, worrying constantly about how to pay bills, meet their obligations, and present a family that is successful and worthy of some prestige.
Is this really what my life experience would be? A lifetime full of daily worry, struggle, and stress, with success consisting only of maintaining my position in life? No, thank you.
When I was 17 I discovered three pointers toward alternatives to a life of struggle and suffering:
- The Tao te Ching
“Can you cleanse your inner vision
until you see nothing but the light?” - Walden, by Henry David Thoreau
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” - alcohol and cannabis
Lao Tse and Thoreau stated clearly that alternative ways of living were possible.
Drugs
Drugs, though — easy! Drink a few beers, smoke a joint, and suddenly the weight of the worries and stress faded away. It worked every time, very reliable. My social awkwardness would also fade away, and I could laugh and enjoy any activity, and any group of friends. I quickly saw that this was a way in which I could tolerate life and find what is commonly called ‘success’: a pattern of daily hard work, then drugs to calm my mind, provide relief, and enable me to sleep. This also happened to be the pattern of my parents and most adults I knew. I was so fond of the quote falsely attributed to Ben Franklin: “beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.”
I followed this pattern for 25 years, from age 17 to 42. Alcohol was the main drug, there were very few days in those 25 years that I did not drink alcohol. There was some cannabis also, and marathon running worked as a drug until my knees no longer allowed it. But alcohol was an essential ingredient in each day. A day without alcohol would be certain to contain anger and a restless, relentless urge to escape.
I knew for 1/2 of those 25 years that I was harming myself, that I should find another way of living. I knew that there were answers hinted at by the words of Lao Tse and Thoreau. But I was unable to implement change in my own life. Every attempt at quitting alcohol failed, and there were many attempts.
Then came the morning of April 17, 2012, ten years ago as I write this. I’d spent the past week in New Orleans, a beer constantly in hand if I wasn’t working. But that morning I woke up at home with a voice in my head, a voice that could not be ignored or silenced. The voice said very loudly and clearly: “Yesterday was your last day drinking. You don’t drink anymore. No more beer.” Oh, how I loved beer! But I knew I had to obey this voice, though I didn’t understand what it was or where it came from. It would be another 8 years before I understood the source of that voice. It’s authority, though, was obvious and undeniable. It would not be ignored or disobeyed.
So I quit. It was a considerable struggle, but I succeeded and haven’t had one drop of alcohol in the 10 years since then. Perhaps we’ll cover that struggle later. I should mention here that I’m convinced that quitting alcohol was an essential ingredient in preparing myself for meditation.
Meditation vs. Drugs
Years after quitting alcohol I was led to meditation. That story and meditation are covered elsewhere, so let’s look at meditation in comparison with drugs. Some things they have in common:
- a change in body and brain chemistry that leads naturally to changes in emotions and experiences
- a ceremony that becomes associated with the above brain chemistry changes
- relief from worry, stress, fear, anxiety
- an oasis of pleasantness isolated from the daily struggle of everyday life
- a large body of colleagues who use the same methods
- a long history of being a part of everyday life
- many examples of being an integral part of a person or society’s dominant daily patterns.
If you’ve had experience with both then think about it. What were you looking for? What did you find?
Now I have years of experience using both meditation and drugs to cope with fear and negative emotions. It’s my firm opinion and experience that meditation is a superior approach for the following reasons (and many more):
- no negative effects. Drugs frequently come with negative side effects. Hangovers, negative physical impacts, negative psychological impacts. Drug users may object to this, and point to examples such as light to moderate use, and specific drugs like cannabis with apparently mild side effects. But let’s take this mental exercise one step further:
- no ceiling. If you’re a drug user you know all about the ceiling. The ceiling is an unfortunate but inevitable part of ALL drug use. Effects can be only do dramatic, and only so much drug use is possible before negative effects accumulate. Consciousness can be altered only so far through drugs. Even dramatically effective drugs such as LSD and DMT can only be used rarely; daily use will quickly suppress the positive effects and aggravate the negative effects. Ask any heavy user and their story will be similar to this. All too soon regular reality returns.
In contrast, meditation has no ceiling. Continued meditation will bring more positive effects without limit. The limits to the potential positive effects of meditation are so vast as to be nearly inconceivable to those of us still down at base level. We cannot see the peaks attainable via meditation, while the peak attainable via drugs is easily seen and littered with countless bodies. - continued durable effects even when not using. Alcohol, cannabis, and most drugs wear off with a fairly short half-life measured in minutes or hours. Meditation effects have a much longer half-life, and eventually are continuously present in the inner and outer life of a consistent meditator.
What Now?
I can only relay my experiences, and that portion of the essential truths of life as they’ve made themselves known to me. You must find your own way through life’s challenges. Here’s a line from one of my favorite songs, Ripple by The Grateful Dead:
” There is a path, no simple highway
Ripple, written by Robert Hunter
between the dawn and the dark of night.
And if you go, no one may follow,
that path is for your steps alone. “
Look at the paths of people you know, people you admire, people you hope to emulate. Where do those paths lead? Where would you truly like your path to lead?
Choose consciously. Choose wisely. Choose using the amazing human capabilities of intellect, memory, and imagination. Do not choose by following your immediate thoughts and emotions, no matter how powerful and insistent they seem.
And know that you choose, the choice is yours.