There can be some distance between seeing the all-pervading unitary oneness of creation and actually living in the realization of this. Using third-person grammar and thinking in terms less identified with the body will help remind us of the nature of our existence and reduce identification with the physical body, mind, and ego.
One day I was beginning a meditation session with a group of people including some new to the group. We started with having people introduce themselves. It’s not necessary, it’s not even always beneficial for experienced meditators. But it does help many people relax and open, and increases group cohesion and bonding.
We went around the circle with people introducing themselves. Typically something like “Hi, I’m Mary. I’m a teacher and mother of 3 young kids. I’m hoping meditation can bring me some peace and tranquility and relief from my hectic daily life.”
One by one people introduce themselves like this, and then the focus moves to Terry. He says simply “Terry. I Am.”
There’s a lesson here, a teaching that comes to us in so many ways but is persistently ignored by our ego and surface mind.
Who are you?
You’re not the body. The body changes dramatically as it moves through childhood, adolescence, adulthood, old age. Does the real You change? Don’t you think of yourself as ‘Me’ through all of this? Wouldn’t you still be ‘Me’ even if limbs were amputated or the body was beset by pain, paralysis or cancer?
Likewise with the mind. You remain consistently and essentially You even as your mind may go through mental illness, joy, or depression.
So we know this about ourselves, that we are not the body, we are not the mind. We are in our core and essence something else, something that transcends the body and mind. You can understand this intellectually, but how to put it in practice? How to experience life fully immersed in this understanding?
The Practice
A method this person has found very useful comes from observing the grammar used by spiritual teachers when referring to themselves, particularly referring to their physical bodies in the third person. Instead of “I broke my ankle”, the master will say “the ankle was broken”. A few more examples of this type of grammar:
| The ego says | The master says |
| I am a teacher | Teaching happens everywhere |
| I am a man | This is a male body |
| I am sick and frail | This body seems to be sick |
| I am sad and depressed | The mind and emotions seem to be experiencing sadness and depression |
Try thinking in these terms, as a way to move toward detachment from the body and mind. You may find conversations get awkward and confusion is generated if you actually speak in this way. That certainly happened to this person! Instead make this a primarily mental practice, and you may find it flows out into speech at more appropriate times. You may also find it a valuable tool for managing your own emotions, reactions, and tendencies.
Who is it that wants that glass of wine? Who wants to eat excessively? Who lusts after that cute girl? Not the eternal You, it’s just your body and mind. Not who you really are.
Don’t take this as a license for debauchery, decadence and hedonism. This is not a lesson in what to do, this is a lesson and practice in getting in touch with who you really are.